In 2010, I graduated from college. Under the strong request of my parents, I returned to Qianjiang, the place where I had most of the memories of my youth. However, my girlfriend Lily didn't come back with me, but stayed in Guangzhou.
Once upon a time, my biggest dream was to marry Lily after graduation and then set up a home for us in this small town. Unexpectedly, when she was about to graduate, she chose to break up with me and stay in Guangzhou, just because she thought I couldn't give her the future she wanted.
After coming back, for a long time, except for work, I spent every day in the bar. I hope this will make my heart hurt a little less, because I am afraid, afraid to wake up and recall everything that happened in our years together. Sometimes, I think Lily is an invisible wound in my heart, and it always hurts me inadvertently. A year later, I met Xiaofan. He is the sister of my colleague.
Once drunk, I mentioned the past emotional experience to Xiaofan, which may be a girl's natural compassion, and Xiaofan has been silently by my side ever since.
My ex-girlfriend got married, and I got married with Xiao Fan.
On the National Day in 2011, I received the news that Lily was going to get married. Although I have been psychologically prepared before, I am still worried about my gains and losses. The girl who had been with me for three years married someone else in an instant.
I went when Lily got married, and I left after the gift. I didn't dare to attend her wedding. I was afraid I couldn't help making a scene at the wedding. On the way back, Xiaofan held my hand tightly and didn't say anything. At that time, the only thought in my mind was that the person I loved most married someone else, so what was the difference between whom I married?
So the son of a bitch, I told Xiao Fan that I wanted to find someone to marry, anyone. Anyway, it is to complete the task of being a son of man. Xiaofan said with a smile at that time, then marry me, anyway, I like you, lest you go to find a new partner. At that time, she gave me a great shock. Although she said it jokingly, I knew she meant it.
After that, I was finally persuaded by my colleagues by their intentional or unintentional match. More than a month later, Xiaofan and I also entered the wedding hall.
After three years of marriage, all I brought to her was harm.
After marriage, I put all my mind on my career, only thinking that I could prosper one day. Let the people who once looked down on me regret, so ignore my wife Xiaofan.
I always go home late every day. Most of the time I go back to see Xiaofan lying asleep on the sofa and the food that has been hot on the table for many times. In order to attract business, I often go back drunk. However, I wake up every morning and lie clean in bed.
Xiao Fan occasionally complains about me and asks me to spend more time with her. I always say that men should put their careers first. When I went on a business trip to Guangzhou in 2012, I had dinner with my college classmates. I didn't expect Lily to come. When I got home, I didn't tell Xiao Fan about it. Unexpectedly, she saw the picture in Qzone and insisted that I went to Guangzhou for Lily.
At that time, I was angry and thought that it was an invasion of my privacy for her to log on to my QQ privately. For this reason, we had a fight for the first time since we got married. For a long time, I deliberately did not talk to her and ignored her to take care of everything around me silently every day.
Regret, only to find the loss of the most precious
In 2013, Xiaofan was pregnant, and I was happy from the bottom of my heart. At the age of 28, I am going to be a father, which makes my family very happy. At that time, I really wanted to put my work down and spend time with her. Unfortunately, I was following up on a big project in the company at that time, and it was basically impossible to replace someone.
Xiaofan has a lot of vomiting, and when she goes to work, she is so thin that she only has a handful of bones. One night, she was out shopping with her friends and asked me to pick her up. At that time, I said I would pick her up after the meeting, but I didn't expect to be finished until 10:00. Xiaofan got impatient and took a taxi home by himself. Unexpectedly, I fell when I got off the bus. When I got to the hospital, it was her brother's fist and her who refused to talk to me.
After the child was gone, Xiao Fan went back to live with her mother. In her heartbreaking cry, I realized for the first time that I was such a jerk as a husband. She never got sense of security from me. Soon, we divorced peacefully, looking at the empty house, and my heart ached beyond measure.
Later, inadvertently, I turned to her diary in the drawer, which recorded everything since we met. The more I looked down, the more sore my heart became. I owed her so much. I remember every birthday, the surprise she gave me, but I never remember her birthday, and even when she was pregnant, I seldom cooked for her. Most of the time she is on her own, I lack too much love for her, so that she gradually developed a woman who only depends on herself.
I also tried to get to know her again, but I didn't have the courage. I'm afraid she won't forgive me, and I know I ruined her yearning for love. Now she has left me for more than half a year, occasionally met in the street, but we are like strangers. Now, I can only walk with the bright and beautiful part of the past without expectation.
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