There is a kind of self-cultivation called non-random evaluation.

I like the lines in the movie the Great Gatsby: whenever you want to criticize anyone, remember that not everyone in the world has the advantages you have.

Because everyone's growing up environment is different, feel the joys and sorrows are not the same, you do not understand me, I do not blame you.

As someone said: don't judge me rashly, you just know my name, but you don't know my story, you just hear my behavior, but you don't know what I've been through.

Admittedly, to treat anyone or anything without knowing the truth behind it, not to evaluate it at will is one's best self-cultivation.

01

Don't judge the appearance of what you see randomly.

As the saying goes: seeing may not be true. Sometimes the picture captured by the naked eye is not the whole truth of things, and what you see may be just the tip of the iceberg floating on the surface.

I remember watching a popular Thai ad video in moments:

At the beginning of the video, the owner of the market, with an extremely fierce face, went to collect the rent of the hawker stall.

When she arrived at the meat stall, she was so ferocious that she snatched the scale of the meat vendor.

And this bullying picture happened to be recorded and posted online by netizens present.

In less than three days, the video was viewed more than a million times, arousing public anger, and public opinion was almost overwhelmingly scolding the landlady.

Many spectators were outraged and called her a dead landlady and pervert; some netizens called for not going to this market to buy vegetables and let the market close; some even cursed such people for not dying.

But is the truth really what you see so far? And then there is the unexpected:

The landlady asked for the cleanliness and tidiness of the market in order to attract customers to buy vegetables and take care of vendors' business.

It seems that she, who collects rent ferociously, will refund the rent overpaid by the vendors immediately.

Take the peddler away because he is ill and take him to a secluded place to rest.

To remove things from vendors is to help vendors solve the leftovers that cannot be sold.

And caused public anger in the video fell vendors said, because the meat vendors are short of two fraudulent customers.

At the end of the video, there is such a sentence: human value can not be judged only by what you see. Open your mind and see what you don't see with wisdom.

As a very reasonable saying on the Internet says: a person's greatest malice is to impose his own understanding on others, take all the results for granted with his own process, and always think that he is correct.

And a really educated person, should do, before knowing the whole truth of things, never judge yourself, learn to shut up, sometimes the wisest thing to do.

Sometimes, not easily to evaluate the quality of things, is also a kind of self-cultivation.

02

Don't evaluate and spread what you hear.

I was particularly impressed when I read such a story on the Internet:

At school, many people like to form small groups. However, there is a girl who is very introverted, walks alone all the year round, and does not participate in activities among her classmates.

One day, another girl in the class, because of a prank, began to tell her classmates that the inner girl had a mental illness. Let's not go near her.

After listening to this, the little friend told other better students: you see, that girl is a loner. It is said that she has mental problems and infectious diseases, so we'd better stay away.

Soon after, it spread to the ears of introverted girls, and the version turned out to be: she has AIDS, and the people who make friends with her will be infected.

In the end, the whole campus knew that everyone saw her as if they had seen a ghost, hiding away.

At that time, everyone looked at AIDS as if it were a plague, and her family was ostracized and ignored by the town because of it.

No one cared about the truth, and everyone dodged their whole family like the plague, but spread gossip behind their backs.

In the end, her family was so disturbed that they had to help her change schools and move homes.

Many years later, when the truth was introduced into everyone's ears again, everyone sighed one after another, and those who listened to the things they heard and made random judgments about rumors felt even more guilty.

However, the damage has been done, no one can pay for the past sins, and the victims under the rumors, often recall this time, like a nightmare, for a long time.

At the end of the story, the person who shared the story said: in fact, I am the relative of the victim.

This story, true or false, is actually a warning to us that everyone has different ways of living, whether introverted or lively. Sometimes, if we don't know the truth, we should not judge a person by the character of others and the words revealed by the people around us.

Because you do not know, what you say, more or less mixed with prejudice, and this prejudice may be magnified, and finally become a sharp blade, destroying people in the invisible.

And deep to the bone of self-cultivation, is to hear things, do not judge others at will, sit still thinking about their own mistakes, gossiping about others.

03

Learning to shut up is not only wisdom but also upbringing.

There is a saying on the Internet: some people learn to speak in months, but they can't shut up in a lifetime. Be careful when you are in a group, and be careful when you are alone.

Indeed, a word spoken is like spilled water. It is easy to make a quick mouth for a while, but it is often impossible to take it back.

Cautious words and deeds, sometimes, not only reflects a person's great wisdom, but also reflects a person's self-cultivation.

Mr. Qian Zhongshu once said: the whispers behind us are like gravel in rice or uncleaned thorns in sashimi, giving people an unexpected pain.

You know, a good word warms you in three winters, but a bad word hurts you in June.

However, good people always see good, beautiful people always see beauty, do not speculate on others with malice, do not trouble others with self-interest, and do not slander others.

Less hostility, do not judge others at will, do not be the disseminator of rumors, do things attentively, learn to shut up, is a person's self-cultivation to the bone.

Finally, may you be kind to the world and be treated well by the world.