The noblest accomplishment is empathy rooted in the heart.

Girlfriend said: not feeling well, you replied: then you should drink more hot water, as a result, your girlfriend never replied to you again.

Your colleague is in a bad mood. You gave her 100 ideas, but none of them seemed to appreciate it.

You try your best to explain when you quarrel with your husband, but he just won't listen.

Do you have deja vu or even deep feelings about the dilemma in which the above two people are unable to communicate?

Is it difficult to find a communication shortcut that I know everything he says and he can understand everything I say?

Teacher Sikun said: in fact, there is a shortcut to this matter. it depends on whether we have empathy or not.

Because the carding of any logic and reason is not as good as talking in one's shoes.

When we have empathy, we have a kind of self-relieving attachment, which is a kind of forgiveness for everything in the world, and feels that the whole world is gentle and easy for us.

Compassion is different from compassion.

Compassion is a kind of mood, feeling angry and compassionate about what happened to others from a self-point of view, while empathy is a technology that abandons its own position, feels and understands through the eyes of others, and sees the world from a different perspective.

It is said that one year, Su Qing, who had just founded Tiandi magazine, asked Zhang ailing, a writer whom she had always admired, for contributions.

However, until the final deadline, Zhang ailing did not send the manuscript. When Su Qing called to ask, Zhang ailing just replied coldly: I forgot.

After putting down the phone, Su Qing hurriedly found someone to fill the vacancy, and it took a lot of twists and turns to get the right manuscript without delaying the publication of the magazine.

Colleagues at the magazine were very angry at Zhang ailing's breach of appointment, felt that she was selfish and disrespectful to others, and suggested that the matter be made public.

But Su Qing said: a writer, the manuscript is her rice bowl, how can she not hand in the manuscript for no reason? Something else must have entangled her, which is understandable.

Later, these words reached Zhang ailing's ears and really moved her. That period was really a messy period in her life, and she had no time to write at all. Zhang ailing praised Su Qing for her empathy and her temperament.

From then on, Zhang ailing did not break her appointment with "Heaven and Earth" and became a very good friend with Su Qingcheng, which was a good story in the literary world at that time.

If a person can really stand from the point of view of others, to analyze and think, to understand and feel, this is a rare accomplishment.

Empathy shortens the distance between people, and it is the warmest way to open the circle of friends.

Yu Minhong once said: at that time I was carrying a pole to enter Peking University, but it was the rustic weakness of lsquo; & rsquo; that I would have more empathy in the future to understand the difficulties of many people.

In real life, we often say that people share the same mind, and what the heart emphasizes is that whether in life or at work, having empathy and dealing with the same thing with different mindsets and habits will show different versions of life.

A Western philosopher even said: if you want to be happy, you must go out of yourself and into the lives of others.

Our pain, often too obsessed with ourselves, and do not want to stand in other people's point of view, to change the Pure Land.

Some time ago, my friend was extremely depressed because of his work.

Asked why, it turned out that when the leader evaluated her in the middle of the year, he gave her a B grade, not an A grade. She felt very aggrieved, her work in the unit is the most serious, the efficiency is also the highest in the unit, in the face of such evaluation of the leadership, she is really difficult to accept, once ready to change jobs.

I asked her: when you are at work, do you think about your work first, or do you consider the intention of the leader first?

Of course, it is his own work, and the leader does not understand my work, and his opinions are often wrong.

I have found the crux of the problem. in fact, there is no shortage of such employees in the workplace who act according to their own work habits and turn a deaf ear to the leader's words. after a long time, the leader will think that you do not respect him, even if he works very hard. But the leader just doesn't buy it.

At this time, we really need to change roles with the leader, analyze and deal with it from the boss's point of view, and a lot of things will suddenly become clear.

Just imagine, if you are a leader, one employee works very hard, but does not follow your instructions and works at his own pace, while the other employee knows the results you want and does it according to your direction. Which one do you prefer? I threw this question at Xi Xi.

She could not help nodding in agreement.

As the president of Intel said in his speech: no matter where you work, don't think of yourself as an employee, you should run the company as if you were your own.

When we are in the workplace, we often feel unhappy and unfair because we have no empathy and do not weigh it from the perspective of leadership.

Strengthen your imagination and see what others see from other people's point of view.

The willow is dark and the flowers are bright, let bygones be bygones, hell and heaven, in this magical turn of thought. Not only let go of others, but also let go of yourself.

This is not a compromise, but a practice of wisdom.

Empathy makes us understand one fact:

What I care about is not necessarily concerned by others, and what I need is not necessarily needed by others. It is not charity, not self-sacrifice, but a process in which life continues to evolve and enrich it.

It can even be said that it is the core of human nature in another sense.

Empathy will get us out of closure, and the joy it brings us is real and profound.

So how do we expand our potential empathy? How to practice empathy in life?

The writer Si Kun put forward a trilogy to build strong empathy in the book "value of words: the eight laws of speaking".

First of all, make yourself less important.

It does not require our critical thinking, but requires us to use our pure imagination to see what others see from the perspective of others.

For example, when a friend goes through a breakup, we should not think about whose fault it is, nor should we compare it with our own feelings. From his perspective, you should see that two people have just been feeding each other. You can even see the sadness of turning away at the moment of yesterday's breakup.

When you watch your husband sitting at home depressed for his work, you should not think about whether he is tired of work, let alone criticize him, but to have a picture of him leaving early and coming home late for the job recently.

Empathy is not my thinking, so I am, but I am, so I see, completely into other people's world, to feel and think.

Second, put aside the heart of judgment.

Judgment is not only the killer of empathy, but also the channel that inadvertently leads to verbal violence.

Empathy requires us not to think about and evaluate those things, but to see the facts objectively, that's all.

It's not easy to do this. Why can't we always see each other? Why do you say something unpleasant instead?

The reason is that we mistakenly confuse the evaluation and view of this matter with the objective facts, causing internal pain.

If we can distinguish between evaluation and objective facts, we will reap another fresh and beautiful world.

We should always remember that what makes our mood worse is not that person's behavior, but how we interpret his behavior.

Finally, try on each other's shoes and feel each other's feelings.

Empathy requires us to focus not only on each other's facts, but also on each other's feelings.

To understand each other's feelings, it is not just that I understand your feelings, but to experience them wholeheartedly and show them to them in their own language or body language and expressions, just like playing a mirror of each other.

As the novelist Ian McEwan said: at the core of human nature, in addition to our selves, there is another person, and that is the art of empathy.

Empathy is not only the spiritual support of each other, but also an art.

Because of empathy, every day's words and deeds in the future can be self-processed, from weakness to armor.