The family is built by parents. The pattern of the father and the mood of the mother determine the feng shui of the family. If the father is the mountain, the mother is the sea. The mountain gives people to rely on, and the sea caresses and comforts the heart. If the father is the lamp, the mother is fire. The lamp illuminates the direction, the fire brings warmth.
-1-
The pattern of the father determines the direction of the family.
The so-called pattern, case is the personality, the bureau is the vision and mind. As the locomotive of the family train, the father's character is noble and broad-minded, so as to ensure that the development direction of the family is not wrong.
During the period of the Republic of China, among the children of famous families, Zhang Wuling was an outlier in people's eyes: he hated gambling, non-smoking and alcohol abstinence, but he was addicted to books from an early age and was keen on running a school for the public good all his life.
Zhang Wuling has a total of ten children. If you take a closer look at their names, you will find that they are all extremely exquisite. The four daughters are Yuanhe, Yonghe, Zhaohe and Chonghe, and the later six sons are Zonghe, Yinhe, Dinghe, Yuhe, Huanhe, Ninghe.
Girls' names not only do not have the charm of flowers and grass, but also have two slender legs, because their father wants them to step out of the boudoir door and go to the world, while the boys' names all have a treasure head, which is the hope of inheriting the family business. it is also the hope that the father wants them to remember home no matter how far they go.
In that feudal era, he hoped that boys must have a home in their hearts, while girls must have a broad heart. Its realm and pattern can be seen.
No wonder Ye Shengtao said: the four talented women of the Zhang family in Jiuru Xiang, whoever marries them will be happy for the rest of their lives.
Later, the four daughters married Xiao Sheng celebrity Gu Chuanyu, famous philologist Zhou Youguang, famous writer Shen Congwen, and famous sinologist Fu Hansi. The six sons are also outstanding and proficient in Chinese and Western learning, which has made a story in the modern history of China.
Only those who have a big mind can have a large pattern, and those who have a large pattern can become a general climate. On this point, Chinese characters have long been exquisitely interpreted: people standing on the mountain have a long-term vision, so they are fairies; people standing in the valley have a limited field of vision, so they are vulgar people.
Father has a large pattern, may not seek family prosperity, fame is immortal, the pattern is also reflected in the attitude towards life, open-minded to adversity. Think of the moving article "bring a smile home":
In a poor rural family, the child missed one point in the high school entrance examination and had to pay a school choice fee of 8000 yuan. Mother and son are worried, but the father brought a worse news: I have been laid off. But my father was smiling when he said this.
His old and frail father repeatedly ran into a brick wall when he was looking for a job, but when his mother asked him how he was doing when he came home every day, he almost answered with a smile.
Suddenly one day, my father changed his mouth and said, "I'm going to work tomorrow!" This time, he laughed more happily.
My father started work on the only tricycle in the family, but was accidentally injured while transporting goods. When he got home, my father was still smiling and said it was all right, all right.
Finally, the family saved up their tuition fees by relying on their father's tricycle. The child was also infected by his father and made up his mind to study hard during high school and was admitted to a famous school.
Around us, too many families are in good financial condition, but they are often filled with smoke because of their children's temporary achievements and a little difficulty in life. And this poor father can be calm in the face of danger, open-minded and optimistic, want to be a big tree, do not compete with grass, is a rare pattern.
No matter where a person is, he can't limit his inner breadth, especially for men.
When the father has a big pattern, his wife will have the determination to stay calm in case of trouble, and his children will have the motivation to move forward bravely. And all this is the strength that a family saves for future prosperity.
-2-
The mother's mood determines the temperature of the family.
If the father plays the role of helmsman and leader in the family, then the mother is the regulating valve and oxygen machine of a family.
Writer Liang Xiaosheng once said: the warmest and most poetic part of human life that can purify human emotions and tend to beauty comes from women. Men make the world, while women make men.
We often say that only when we start a family and start a family can we start a career better. It is because the husband is immersed in the tenderness of his wife and the warmth of the family, so he can work hard for his life with more energy and no aftermath.
'My mother is magnanimous and good-natured, treats people the kindest and gentlest, and has never said a word that hurts people,'Hu Shi wrote in my Mother.
When Hu Shi was a child, his family was in decline. Every year, a large group of debt collectors came to the house, each with a lantern, who sat in the hall and refused to go. Hu Shi's eldest brother had already avoided the situation. Mother walked in and out, cooking New year's Eve dinner, thanking Kitchen God, New year's money and so on, without a trace of grievance on her face, just as if she didn't see this group of people.
In the middle of the night, my mother went out through the back door, invited a neighbor to come to the house, gave each debtor some money, and kindly sent the debt collectors away one by one. After a while, the eldest brother knocked at the door and came back, and his mother never scolded him. And because it was the New year, she never showed a look of anger on her face. Hu Shi recalled that for six or seven years, Chinese New year was celebrated in this way.
The sister-in-law in the family is not sensible and the second sister-in-law is small, but Hu Shi's mother never quarreled with her two sisters-in-law. They often quarrel with each other, but because of my mother's friendly example, they have never openly scolded and fought each other.
The kindness of the mother does not mean unprincipled indulgence of the child, on the contrary, the mother controls Hu Shi most strictly.
She was a loving mother and a strict father, but she never scolded him in front of others. If she hit him, she would kneel and reason for the child. No matter how heavy the punishment was, she would not allow her son to cry, because she taught her son not to take it out of her anger to make others listen.
Finally, Hu Shi wrote:
If I can learn a little bit of good temper, if I can learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive and be considerate, I have to thank my loving mother.
In her speech at TED, Ms. Hong Lan, a Taiwan psychologist and brain expert, used her research report on the brains of men and women to clarify from a scientific point of view: from the perspective of human evolution, the emotional energy of women far exceeds that of men, the mother is the soul of the family, the mother is happy and the whole family is happy, and the mother is anxious and anxious.
So, when you educate a boy, you educate only one boy; but when you educate a girl, you educate the whole family and the next generation.
Liao Yimei, a famous screenwriter, said: I don't think a good wife has to do housework, so I can't cook, but I am confident that what I give to my family is more important than cooking.
Now, my son is cheerful and optimistic, and his goal in life is to be happy. Liao Yimei said: I told my son that this goal was good, and I was very proud of myself. I thought Lao Meng (husband Meng Jinghui) and I had a good imperceptible influence.
-3-
Family harmony is the highest state of practice.
Goethe, a writer who wrote countless great works, read all the prosperity and sorrow of the world, but finally said: whether it is a king or a farmer, family harmony is the happiest.
The father is the dry sky and the mother is the earth. The universe is suitable to attract each other, and the beauty is boundless. If the father has the direction and the mother has the temperature, the fortune of a family is bound to be smooth.
Whether it is for Zhang ailing, whose love is so low in the dust, or Xiao Hong, who has an ill-fated marriage, behind their emotional misfortune is the sorrow caused by the original family.
Love is not an one-way ray; love is a circle that connects with each other and gives to each other.
The good feng shui and good fortune of a family are the blessings that all family members have built together, inseparable from a stable and open-minded father, a tender and considerate mother, and even more inseparable from a good relationship between husband and wife and a harmonious and happy family atmosphere.
A good family, never estrangement in the dark, frequent dislike, but a group of people in one direction, walking together is fate, walking together is happiness.
Father's big pattern, mother's good mood, is a family's best fengshui.
-4-
For the family to prosper, we need the father's big pattern and the mother's good mood.
If the family is a house, then filial piety is the foundation, diligence is the beam, but it is the roof.
Without filial piety, the family will be uneasy; without diligence, the family will fail; without forgiveness, the family will be separated.
These three points are indispensable for a family to be peaceful and prosperous, and the fortune of a family lies in these three points.
Filial piety to Xiang
Filial piety comes first, filial piety is the foundation of life, if a person can not even be grateful to his parents, then what noble character can you expect him to have?
Filial piety is the first of all virtues. In the concept of Chinese people, any moral defect can be traced back to filial piety.
Filial piety is like the number 1. Without this 1, no matter how many zeros are added after it, it is meaningless.
One of the eight virtues of self-cultivation put forward by Zeng Guofan is filial piety. Zeng Guofan attaches great importance to filial piety.
When he was an official in the capital, he always wrote back to tell his parents about his situation, which was very detailed and even specific to the party scene with his friends, so as to reassure his parents in his hometown.
Under the influence of Zeng's family style, most of the Zeng family were filial piety, and the family became peaceful because of filial piety.
The wife of Zeng Guofan, Ouyang, was blind in her old age. Daughter-in-law Guo Yun served for three years from time to time.
If children want to be filial, they must first be grateful.
Parents as the main body of a family, they raise the next generation with selfless love, support the important task of the family with broad shoulders, and operate the tedious family with hard hands.
We enjoy the love of our parents, but we seldom think of returning it, or even take it for granted.
Filial piety requires understanding and action from the bottom of your heart.
Do not regard filial piety as a burden, but as a responsibility without reason. Don't regard filial piety as an empty word, but put it into practice in your life.
The best filial piety is the company of free time, which is to add luck to the family when filial piety is done.
Qin Zhixiang
Without Zeng Guofan, there would be no glory of Zeng's family, and it was his diligence that made Zeng Guofan.
All his life, Zeng Guofan used his flesh as a candle, chopped two sections and four ends, lit four flames, and ran wildly on the narrow slate road leading to cattle.
Personal success and family happiness depend on hard-working hands to create. In the letter Zeng Guofan wrote to his brothers in the fourth year of Xianfeng, he said:
Brothers and nephews in the family should always take diligence and respect as the law. A family can diligently respect, although troubled times also have a prosperous atmosphere, a body can diligently respect, although fools also have wise demeanor.
In Zeng Guofan's letter to his son Zeng Jihong, he also mentioned the word diligence many times to educate his son that all the good things in the world or the things he pursued require his own hard work.
Diligence is the most important thing in life. If one wants to live a down-to-earth, stable and peaceful life, one must be diligent.
If a person develops the shortcomings of laziness, more shortcomings and defects will follow.
Many people complain about social injustice, hate themselves for being born at the wrong time, give themselves various reasons to kill their will, do not work hard to give themselves up, and end up achieving nothing.
Zeng Guofan believes that although happiness and misfortune are determined by heaven, diligence and hard work can change the fate of oneself and his family. If you work harder, you will gain more.
The family must have a pair of hard-working hands, only hard-working can obtain the meaning of life, can get the security of life, and the family can prosper.
If a family is lazy and lazy, even if it owns Jinshan and Silver Mountain, there will be an empty day.
Forgiving Zhixiang
Zi Gong asked Confucius: just tell me one word, learn this word well, and I can benefit from it for the rest of my life.
Confucius said: if there is such a word, then this word is forgiveness.
All his life, Zeng Guofan especially respected the way of forgiveness and often used the word "forgiveness".
To treat others with tenderness and leniency and to make yourself and others happy is the way of life. Zeng Guofan once said:
Rich, expensive, successful, honorable, honorable, and shun, this is what I like, and everyone likes it.
Daily poverty, daily inferiority, defeat, daily humiliation, daily destruction, disobedience, these are what I hate, and so do people.
If I want to stand firm step by step, I must know that others must also stand firm, the so-called standing.
I want to be able to do it everywhere, and I need to know that other people have to be able to do it as well.
Everyone has his own personality, and in the process of getting along with others, we should be considerate of each other, not blame.
If a family is to be peaceful and prosperous, it also needs mutual understanding among family members.
In life, we often leave tolerance to others, but leave the most hurtful words to those who are closest to us.
Don't talk too rashly with your family, don't always blame your family for the trivial things in life, and treat your loved ones' inadvertent mistakes with a tolerant heart.
The family is not a place for theoretical debate, what is needed here is mutual respect and understanding.
You may not understand and disapprove of some of your parents' ideas and performance, but you can't deny them all. If there is anything wrong with the child, please communicate with each other and don't get angry.
Kindness is better than forgiveness, and virtue is jealousy. The younger generation is filial to the elders, the elders understand the younger generation, we understand each other and have something to say. Why can't such a family be prosperous?
Filial piety, diligence, forgiveness, filial piety, diligence, forgiveness in mind, put in action, for their own family blessings, so that the family can be peaceful and prosperous.
Post a comment