Don't be

Recently, a friend was very depressed and complained to me. He said that he was busy day and night because he was working in a hurry. At this time, his boss called him to "entrust him with an important task"-- to help him write papers that evaluate high-level engineers. In the face of the leader smiling all over his face, repeatedly praising his good writing style, and saying that he was relieved only by the papers written by his friends, and so on, the friend accepted under the circumstances of "roaring" in his heart.

As a result, when others finish their work and get off work, friends are still busy collecting papers, and when they are supposed to go home and lie down, they are still thinking about the length of the article. Finally, my friend concluded to me, "it's really sad to meet such a boss."

In fact, what I want to say to my friend is that this is all caused by his "embarrassed" character, and I can't blame his boss. What I mean by "sorry" is not the timidity and shyness of a friend's nature, but his "unforgettable affection".

A friend is a typical "sorry" old man. For example, when he was in college, he was so poor that he had nothing to eat. When his classmates asked him to borrow money to buy movie tickets, he was embarrassed to refuse and lent it to others with clenched teeth. As a result, others forgot it as a trifle. For example, after taking part in work, a friend bought a car frugally and frugally, but he didn't drive a total of 20 times. his brother asked him to borrow a car on the grounds that "it was not convenient to commute to and from work." friends are just nominal car owners, and so on, all because of his "embarrassment".

In life, people like friends abound, and we often stomp our wrists and stamp our feet because we are "embarrassed" beforehand. So why did this happen?

Perhaps it has something to do with the education we have received since childhood. From family education to school education, we all require "concession, concession". Even if a group of children play together in the family, adults all ask that "the big must let the small". No matter whether the "small" is reasonable or not, in school, we have been asked to be humble and introverted, to put others before ourselves, and textbooks have the story of "Kong Rong giving way to pears". Slowly, this concept of not competing with the world and giving way to compromise has imperceptibly influenced the concept of thinking and the way of doing things.

It's not that "sorry" has a bad way of doing things, but that you can't go too far. Once you have passed a certain critical point, the so-called "sorry" has evolved into "saving face". In fact, most of these people are kind-hearted and cannot bear to hurt others. They always consider problems from each other's point of view, leaving grievances and difficulties to themselves and convenience and happiness to others. If you don't know how to refuse anything, I'm sorry to say "no".

From a psychological point of view, blindly "sorry" can not win respect, in exchange for gratitude, on the contrary, it may backfire and lead to hatred.

The two neighboring houses, Lao Zhang and Lao Li, are separated by a bamboo fence. One day, the "straightforward" Lao Zhang told the "humble gentleman" Lao Li that he planned to build a chicken shed to raise chickens in the fence. Although Lao Li thought of the unpleasant smell in the future, he was embarrassed to refuse, saying, "it's all right, distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors." After a while, Lao Li found that the fence was getting closer and closer to his yard, so he carefully asked Lao Zhang, "has your chicken shed been expanded?" At this time, Lao Zhang replied confidently, "that's my family's business, not yours!" Lao Li was "sorry" to tear his face and had no choice but to say "I really don't know how to thank you."

As a matter of fact, I have experienced this myself.

My husband is also a "sorry" person. A few years ago, his hair wanted to change rooms, but he was still 20 thousand short of the down payment, so he asked to borrow it everywhere. I asked a lot of classmates and friends, but to no avail. When asked about the husband, the husband lent him the only ten thousand yuan deposit at home at that time. Two years later, when the family needed money, it happened to hear the little wife say how much she had earned by buying stocks, so the husband asked him if he could pay it back if it was convenient. As a result, the money was returned, and the young man has been out of touch with his husband since then, and he has always felt baffled. When I met another friend one day, I realized that the reason was that my husband had gone to "collect the debt" and felt that he had not given him face. In the words of a friend, "you see, I directly refused to lend it to him at that time, but we were still friends. You were embarrassed to refuse at that time, and now you are enemies!"

From this we can see that when other people are "embarrassed" to make unreasonable demands, what reason do we have to be "embarrassed" to refuse? Why are we "embarrassed" to ask the borrower to write an IOU when we have already lent all our money to others? It's not wrong to reject others. Don't let the embarrassment affect your future life. Very often, "sorry" not only wronged himself, but also may not be able to fulfill others. Just imagine, it may be because you are "embarrassed" to point out the mistakes in your colleague's work, which eventually leads to his dismissal from the unit, or because of your "embarrassment", it may finally become Guo Donglin who has something to say in the sketch.

Although humility, courtesy and courtesy are our traditional virtues, with the development of society and the diversity of life, people only rely on the golden mean to get along with each other. It is estimated that it is difficult to maintain our inner expectations of reciprocity and open doors at night. Don't be "embarrassed" does not mean that there is no need for comity, nor does it mean that you do not need to save people from danger, but do not let "embarrassment" spread wantonly and eventually become a stumbling block in our lives. We must "distinguish between importance and importance, enough is enough, and act according to our ability". Do not let "embarrassment" kidnap the kind you.

Don't be "sorry"! When faced with more than you can control, please say "No" out loud. The result could be a different story.