If you talk too much, you will lose, but a wise man will not say anything.

There is a classic saying on the Internet:

People who can talk make people laugh, and people who can't talk make people annoyed.

Speaking is an instinct, but being able to speak is a kind of self-cultivation.

Good words will please others and yourself, bad words will hurt others and hurt yourself, to say beautiful words is a person's greatest decency, but also the top wisdom.

If you talk too much, you will lose. A wise man never says these three words.

Don't say words of persuasion if you don't understand the sufferings of others.

There is a heartbreaking saying on the Internet: if you don't understand my suffering, don't persuade me to be magnanimous.

But in reality, there are always too many people who do not understand the sufferings of others and are eager to comfort others to forgive.

When Dabai celebrated his birthday a few days ago, three or five friends were having dinner at his house. when he was in high spirits, his father came to the house to send presents, but he didn't expect to throw his father out without saying a word.

Although all the friends present knew that Dabai had a bad relationship with his father, they could not help but began to persuade him:

No matter how bad the relationship between father and son is, he will be your father after all. You shouldn't be so rude to him. If you have any problems, communicate with him more.

At that time, I didn't feel ignorant around me. On the contrary, I thought it was cruel to persuade the people who knew it.

Because they simply do not know how Dabai was hurt by his father when he was a child, nor do they know how much Dabai has suffered over the years, they began to become peacemakers, but they do not know that such persuasion has caused secondary harm to Dabai.

Forgiveness is an overrated virtue, but not forgiveness is criticized as self-willed.

People always think that learning to forgive is a kind of tolerance and maturity, in fact, compared to forgiveness, sometimes accepting unforgiveness is the greatest tolerance.

The more roads you walk, the more things you experience, and the more stories you pass by, the more you begin to understand that not everyone can grow up in an environment full of love, and not everyone can be carefree. Many people have grievances and insincere words that no one can say.

Everyone's heart knot is different, maybe there are some hardships you can endure, but some people can't get through all their lives.

I quite agree with Xin Yiwu's point of view: in this world, no one can really empathize with another person's pain.

There is a kind of self-cultivation called not to say, there is a kind of kindness called do not understand the sufferings of others, do not persuade others to be magnanimous.

If you can't walk others through that hurdle, at least don't sprinkle salt on his wound.

If you can't empathize with the suffering of others, don't impose your magnanimity on others.

May you be treated gently by the years, and may you be gentle to others.

Don't approve of other people's ideas, and don't throw cold water on them.

Have you ever had such an experience:

Bought a nice dress, but was said to be ugly and immediately fell into embarrassment.

Made a brave choice, as a result, was said to be reckless, and immediately became depressed.

There was a great plan, but it was said that it was not feasible, so I had mixed feelings.

It only takes a minute to throw cold water, but the damage after being poured cold water is incalculable.

Sometimes, the feeling of being thrown with cold water is worse than hot water, because the wound caused by hot water is on the body, but the wound caused by throwing cold water is in the heart, and the wound in the heart is always difficult to heal.

I like a sentence in the Analects of Confucius very much: the gentleman is harmonious but different, the villain is the same but not harmonious.

There are no two identical leaves in this world, and there are no two people who think exactly the same.

It is perfectly normal to have different opinions, judgments, and choices. It is easy to negate others, but people with real patterns know how to be harmonious but different:

Even if you do not agree with other people's views, you will not rush to deny them; even if you do not recognize each other's differences, you will not force others to change.

When I went to my cousin's house a few days ago, I found that the original good feelings were also harmonious but different.

When eating in the evening, I found that there was a big difference in the style of several dishes on the table, some of them were particularly light, and some were very spicy, and then I asked my cousin curiously.

My cousin explained to me happily that she liked spicy food, but my brother-in-law ate a light diet, so he prepared different flavors of food every day, so that no one had to deal with each other.

In addition to maintaining their own diet and living habits, the two also talk and do things without arguing about right or wrong, and never throw cold water on each other.

After dinner, the two discussed what to give to the old man for his birthday.

My cousin thinks it is more practical to buy warm clothes for the elderly in winter, while my brother-in-law wants to take the old man on a trip.

There is a big gap between the two people's ideas, but they do not negate each other, but first affirm each other's ideas, and then make a decision through consultation.

The way they get along with each other makes people feel particularly warm and comfortable.

Between people, whether they are close or strange, everyone wants to be with people who are comfortable with each other.

Do not be a bad critic of others, use a gentle attitude such as porridge instead of throwing cold water, in order to make each other's feelings warm and warm.

Never force others to be the same as you, using a harmonious but different way to get along with each other instead of pleasing each other, so that you can never get tired of getting along.

Don't always talk about negative energy in uncomfortable days.

Shaoxiao told me yesterday that he had blocked a colleague.

When asked why, she replied helplessly:

As a matter of fact, she is not bad, but she is so negative that she complains constantly when she comes across a little thing, and she talks to me privately after work every day.

Other colleagues in the same period got promoted and got a raise, crying that the company could not see her efforts; complaining that the company was stingy because of too few holiday benefits; and that the company was afraid of being fired for personnel changes.

With her, I feel depressed and anxious at work every day.

After listening to Shaoxiao's description, I suddenly thought of a sentence I saw on the Internet a few days ago:

Don't live like a victim, be in a hurry to tell everyone your misfortune.

People with negative energy, like victims, always transmit negative energy, but do not realize that every word of negative energy is not sympathy and help, but the disappointment and irritability of others.

Adult life is not effortless, everyone is tired to deal with the difficulties of life in their own world.

Even if you don't feel comfortable, don't always tell your misfortune like a victim, because no one really likes a negative person.

Every extra sentence of negative energy will consume more of other people's good feelings towards you, and one day others will take the initiative to leave after they have saved enough disappointment.

One day you will find that growing up is like driving at night, with neither bright night lights nor constant pedestrians.

You can only shine by yourself to illuminate the way forward; you must always rely on yourself and learn to comfort yourself.

Stay away from the people around you who consume you, and don't let yourself fall into negative emotions. Only by being with people with positive energy can you grow flowers step by step.

Be a person like a sunflower, keep your face facing the sun, and you won't see the shadow.

Huang Zhizhong once said:

In the final analysis, nine times out of ten, the trouble in life lies in interpersonal relationships. In the final analysis, nine times out of ten, the trouble in interpersonal relationship is due to communication problems.

Speaking is the most cost-effective investment, and it is also the best way for a person to improve himself.

Speaking exposes one's self-cultivation. Talking well is the best practice.

Speaking exposes a person's character. Only by speaking with your heart can you change your heart and ask for benevolence.

Man's greatest enemy is himself, and so is himself.

If you talk well, you are the most important person of your own.